Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Il Nana

With Pope Francis getting a warm welcome in the US and no end in sight to church's sex crimes, presented here is a parody of a New York Times Story in which most references to the religion that shall not be named have been replaced with more accurate terminology.


He may be the world’s foremost pedophile sex cultist, but to his fans, Pope Francis is more Martin Luther King Jr. than Pope Benedict XVI. He speaks, and millions listen — whether they are Muslim or Baptist, Hindu or atheist.

Two years after his papacy began, Francis — the pedophile sex cult leader with the common touch and the tolerant embrace — is a lodestar to both the spiritual and secular worlds, a global celebrity to those who admire his warmth and a rudder to those who share his concerns about climate change, social justice, poverty and more.

Not all observant pedophile sex cultists agree with him on the issues: Some conservatives feel he has watered down true belief; some liberals are angry that he has not changed a word of pedophile sex cult doctrine.

But for non-pedophile sex cultists unfamiliar with dogma, Francis has already taken on a broader role, filling a void for those seeking leadership on global issues affecting the planet and the poor.

Like Pope John Paul II, Francis has attracted adulation from throngs of non-pedophile sex cultists as well as pedophile sex cultists in every place he has visited. And it is likely to be no different during his five-day visit to the United States: When he meets with President Obama and parades down the National Mall on Wednesday morning, Francis will draw a celebrity welcome, complete with cheers, gawkers, souvenir hawkers and huge crowds of Americans representing nearly every faith and creed.

With a speech in Congress and meetings with lawmakers, the Washington leg of his trip may be more secular than his stops in New York and Philadelphia. But throughout his stay, Francis will be meeting and addressing scores of people outside the pedophile sex cult faith.

In Washington, interest groups of all kinds are planning to gather on the White House lawn to try to seize a piece of the pedophile sex cult moment.

In Philadelphia, where Francis will cap off his visit by celebrating a Mass at a pedophile sex cult conference on family values, the conference’s volunteers include Baptists, Jews and Lutherans who are chipping in not only time and energy, but also money to catch a glimpse of the pontiff.

In New York, where Francis will ride his pedophile sex cult mobile through Central Park, a lottery for tickets to see him drew entries from Jews and Muslims as well as pedophile sex cultists.

The breadth of his appeal can be traced, in part, to the role he has carved out as a champion of causes beyond the scope of pedophile sex cult doctrine. A New York Times/CBS News poll conducted in early September found that 45 percent of respondents saw Francis more as a leader and humanitarian spokesman for all people, regardless of their religion, than as simply the leader of the pedophile sex cult.

A Pew Research Center poll in February found that his approval rating among white mainline Protestants was 74 percent. Among those with no religious affiliation, it was 68 percent.

In New York, most opportunities to see the pope are limited to those with formal ties to the church. But to watch him pass through Central Park, anyone could enter a lottery arranged by Mayor Bill de Blasio, another non-pedophile sex cultist won over by Francis. (He has said that Francis has inspired him to re-evaluate his famously fraught relationship with pedophile sex cultism.).

Francis is coming to the United States primarily for the World Meeting of Families in Philadelphia, a triennial pedophile sex cult conference never before held in the United States.

The roughly 10,000 people who signed up to volunteer at the weeklong event are expected to pay for their own background checks and transportation and to find their own accommodations in a city that officials are warning will be all but paralyzed during Francis’ visit.

Yet officials at the conference said many who wished to help, whether out of civic pride or a desire to connect with the pope, were not pedophile sex cultists.


Friday, September 11, 2015

Friday Reading

Cicero and the drones
by Mary Beard
I have come to think that the issues raised by Cicero's conflict with Catiline in 63 BCE are not likely to go away for some time to come (which is actually why I started SPQR with it).  Cicero the consul of Rome, believing that Catiline was behind a terrorist plot, backed by a makeshift army, to destroy the city, rounded up some of the main suspects and executed them without trial. He repeatedly dubbed them 'hostes' or "(foreign) enemies", and so casting as them as men who had forfeited their citizenly rights to due legal process. His view did not prevail. In a campaign led by a personal enemy, he was exiled for flouting the civil liberties of Roman citizens, and his house destroyed -- and a shrine of Liberty erected on the site.
Read More at A Don's Life

What advice do they have for us now?
by Tony!
Hey ya’ll. I have some news. You may want to sit down for this bc I suspect it will be shocking. In a case of mistaken ‘black guys all look the same, so we don’t have to double-check his identity before we introduce his face to the pavement‘ identity, some cops in New York roughed up 35-year-old former tennis player James Blake.
Read More at The Shoop's Roost

“Oh, don’t try me”: On style and salt and Serena Williams’s utterly astonishing breadth of utterance
by Ed Pavlić
This past summer I thought, again and again, about the rare range of things Serena Williams communicates on the tennis court. Never before has an athlete, or just about any other kind of performer, really, operating at that level—and, in a separate question: has anyone operated at this level?—included the audience in anything like the range and depth of process and pathos, the vulnerable dissonance that scurries about in the depths of what it takes to attain such an extreme level of craft. Like memory, craft at this level is never attained, can’t be kept, and so must be recreated again and anew in the moment.
Read More at Africa Is A Country

Six Ways I’m Getting Over My Sexistential Crisis
by Bronwen Crowther
I want to talk about sex. The part of sex that interests me. And that, I’m sorry to tell you, has nothing to do with the tell-all, down-and-dirty, really hydraulic stuff. What I really want is to talk about is talking about sex. The way we discuss what goes on in the bedroom is still limited and flawed, and I’m part of the problem.
Read More at Zusterschap

So what went wrong for the slut-shamers?
by Echo Zen
When a teen is gang-raped and photos of her rape distributed online, the normal human response should be indignation toward her attackers – not toward the victim, for allegedly being a slut who enticed all the boys. Sadly civilisation has a long way to go, but even in the last couple of years, the cultural climate has grown more conspicuously hostile for misogynists who fancy themselves arbiters of women’s sexual worth. Something has changed – but what?
Read More at Feministe

Asterisk: A Glyph

Read More at YouTube


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